Understanding True Love
By jona bryndis, Jun 26 2018 03:02PM
Every relationship provides a unique opportunity for spiritual, emotional and mental growth and even healing. One of the main problems in relationships is that we tend to get fixated on the object of love. We are conditioned to believe that we need another person (or being) to be in love or to feel the emotion of love. From an energetic viewpoint this is not the case. Love is a resonance - a subjective energetic state that exists within us regardless of an object. It is an expansive, all-encompassing, energetic resonance within us that is unconditional and trusting.
The English language offers two meanings for 'True Love'; one describes the person or obejct of our love and the other describes the emotions we project onto someone and vice versa. Both meanings primarily reflect on an emotion directed or projected by somebody else. However, when searching for the deeper meaning of True Love, we realize that it is a feeling inside us, which does not necessarily require an object. So, let me ask you then: "Is it me who creates love or is the object of my love? And if it's me, does this make me the subject of my love?"
Could it be that our understanding of Love and True Love needing an object is the problem for all our difficulties dealing with love matters in our lives?
With developing self-mastery the nature of our relationships can transform from stereotypical power/control patterns, co-dependency or fantasy-bonds into an expression of true and unconditional love and lovingness. If we want a relationship that allows both partners and the relationship itself to grow, we need to make sure that we can identiy, correct and transmute any type of projection of our unresolved inner aspects onto our partner. For this to happen and for our resonance to shift to this 'higher' level of love within - the kind that sees ourselves as the subject of love - it is particularly important to clarify our inner relationship with ourselves first.
In times of increased collective transformation, unresolved aspects in our inner and outer relationship (or the lack thereof) often pop up as prompting to go into deeper reflection with Self. In view of the recently increasing collective correction energies many of our long-term problems are resurfacing in new intensity. Many of us are feeling a renewed need for connection and true intimacy, but at same time we can also feel that the remainders of our unresolved fear, judgment, anger, survival, lust, self-centeredness, vanity, or narcissism, etc. are interfering with our ability to truly love with an open heart. However, instead of beating ourselves up or blaming others, we could also go into inner reflection, especially if we are also awakening to the journey of illuminated truth and consciousness of Self.
If you are striving for a happy and long-lasting relationship, follow me here for a different view on True Love and how you can use your inner higher power to recontextualize your fear of being vulnerable, so that you can begin to concsiously align yourself to making yourselves to the object of your unconditional love.
Working with True Love as Energetic Resonance
Unconditional Love is ego-less. It is an energy that surrenders to the Love for All…. the kind of Love the universe ‘feels’ for the totality of its holographic dimensions, parents feel for their children, a flower feels for its petals, a leaf feels for the wind that makes it dance… it is the Love of creation, the Love of the Divine, which does not expect anything in return. It does not require any payback… it just IS.
Unconditional Love is based on Wholeness within. It can be felt for in our connection to life...within a flower, a baby, music, water, a laughing child, a person’s smile, a dog’s wagging tail... or ideally, inside every learning experience.
This is the resonance needed to attract our True Love into our lives, both inside and outside. True Love then means, 'loving everything we are, do, feel or think'. If we are unable to love what we are, do, feel or think, we are counteracting and imploding this field within us. If we cannot love ourselves, others can’t love us – and we can’t love others.
When working with True Love on an energetic level, we can learn that objectified love is a weak and projected form of love and therefore conditional. True Love does not require an object, it expresses within the object! True Love also doesn’t require energetic maintenance, such as looking good for our partner, doing him/her favors, controlling, manipulating or protecting... it cannot be 'caught' or 'kept' because it is the cause and effect of our inner energetic alignment and not another person. True Love is a 'state of energy' which can only be felt when we are resonating on the vibratory level of unconditionality.
What is True Love?
For most of us True Love is an 'ideal'... an idea, belief or preconceived notion. We regard a relationship based on true love as one of the most desirable aspects of a fulfilled life. However, not to take romanticism out of this kind of relationship; if we take an honest look at our preconceived idea of what ‘True Love’ really means to us... we will find that parts of this idea are programmed desires through societal conditioning from shows, movies, songs or literature, which are often packed with stereotypes and props.
The intentions of the control-matrix for such a promoted self-destruct-program are clearly driven by public support of consumerism (props/appearances/entertainment) and manipulation of the masses... keeping everyone in the constant delusional search for that which does not exist. In addition, like so many of our unconscious collective programs, the majority of our preoccupations with how True Love is 'supposed to be' lead to unobtainable expectations, idealization and disappointments.
When it comes to experiencing True Love inside, many of us draw a blank. Do we really know what True Love feels like? How many of us have really experienced True Love within? How many couples do we know that would qualify as an example of a True Love relationship? Not to mention...How would we be able to tell if actually did anyways?
How to recognize True Love within?
In our life we go through several stages towards our full acceptance of love... and never really experience True Love until we are willing to surrender our ego and its props. Not until we are willing to truly love ourselves unconditionally.
Energetically seen, true love is a state of energy in which a person is in complete acceptance of self... whole, congruent and able to unconditionally love his or her self, and thus love others.
How do we know what it feels like? Not sure about you, but it took me a lot of inner work to start getting a glimpse of what this unconditional love towards myself really means….most days I still fail on some level! Critical inner voice, inner child fears, wounds, defense mechanisms and shadow aspects constantly bombard our inner self-love field… on top of that, some of our incongruent perceptions of self mingled with unrealistic expectations and judgments of others.
The trick to not falling for these non-loving distraction mechanisms is to connect with our heart. Within our heart, we learn to feel this expansive and self-propelled energy field of unconditional love, allowing us to discern,.......
However, in order to feel true love inside and eventually to have a true love relationship we need to get over our mistrust to ourselves. Only when we can manage to overcome our fear of letting go... of not being loved... of being rejected or unwanted... of criticism... of getting hurt... etc., will we be able to recognize true love within, and with it to feel true love for somebody else.
This doesn’t mean that we have to be all perfectly balanced, cleared and in constant inner harmony in order to feel true love! On the contrary, unconditional love is a path - a life-style.
All this life-style requires is dedication and honest reflection, recognizing the inner aspects holding us back and then remembering how to re-connect within ourselves. To connect with our self-love. If we cannot feel unconditional self-love we will continue making others, circumstances or our past responsible for not be able feel true love. Whenever we catch ourselves in this thought pattern, we know that we are not on the path to True Love.
True Love in Relationships
True Love between two people describes the resonance field that can occur between two individuals already in the state of true love with themselves. True Love doesn’t come through another person, nor can we control the state another person is in! True Love is a resonance in which we allow and attract through our True Self. (click here to read more about True Love Relationships and other forms of higher vibratory expressions of love)
Apart from the romantic and karmic aspect of a relationship, the nature and possibility of True Love between two persons is primarily determined by the nature and quality of the inner relationship of the individuals with themselves!
In essence, as long as we cannot really feel this kind of unconditional and expansive love within and towards ourselves, it is practically impossible to resonate on this vibrational level with another person. In some cases this can also mean that we may as well meet, or already are with a person with whom we could theoretically resonate on this level... but haven't managed to overcome our own limitations yet. In this case it's particularly important to explore the deeper aspects of your Self - even if you may feel that your 'love can cure all" or that "things will work our themselves." The truth is, relationship issues do not resolves themselves - ever! They tend to get worse and lead to the very thing they got us there in the first place: Blaming the ohter of closing of our heart out of fear or protection.
What is holding us back?
Let’s all be bone-crushing honest! Why do we agree to conditions in relationships that are far off our true needs, true heart’s desires and true selves? Why do we so often mistake conditional love for True Love?
The main thing holding us back from loving unconditionally, is that we cannot love ourselves unconditionally. Our inner dissonances separate us from our True Selves and our true needs and often block our communication. We become incongruent with ourselves and make our love depend on props instead of true feelings.
To be able to connect with others and love ourselves unconditionally requires trust and willingness to let go and to integrate our fears and emotions. Without an honest inner and outer communication this is not possible. Our ability to connect and love depends solely on our ability to be connected with our own heart.
True Love means to surrender all of our fears and to be fully congruent and in love with who we truly are – to recognize Divinity in ourselves and thus in others!
Thank you for your time.
Energy Coach & Founder of transCODES
transCODES offers a service and online community platform for everyone who is interested in exploring his or her deeper aspects of heart connection, heightened energetic perception, spiritual self-awareness and sacred self-healing. Our trained energy workers provide hands-on education, guidance and energy coaching/healing services for energetically sensitive persons and anyone who feels prompted to engage in active consciousness work and integrative self-mastery. transCODES energy work is non-religious and not bound to any specific teaching or methodology.
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(In memory of Ronene Harrison)
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