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Spiritual-Emotional Maturity - Understanding Energetic Patterns & Dynamics

By jona bryndis, Aug 3 2016 09:12PM

Are you tired of rmisery? Repeating relationship issues (be it with family, friends or partners), ongoing emotional exhaustion, feeling manipulated, taken advantage of, inadequate, rejected, disappointed or heartbroken? Good! Growing tired of feeling miserable is the first step to liberating ourselves from our emotional binds!

Emotional Maturity is the ability to reconcile with who we truly are and how we express ourselves (or not) authenticly. It requires the courage to evolve past our conditioned reactivity and the resilience to move past contraction.

Spiritual-Emotional Maturity is realizing that our misery is merely a reflection of our ability to love ourselves regardless of the shortcomings we are afraid of hurting us. It allows us to see, feel and live the whole range of human states without judging ourselves or others.

The reason why our misery tends to repeat over and over again is because our ego-mind believes that what we have (or not), whom we are with (or not), where we are at (or not) is familiar and thus managable. For our ego familiarity creates a sense of safety. However, deep down there is a part in us that knows that there is a self-destruct in somewhere. We just can't put a finger on it and thus often seek the answers outside of ourselves. Instead of facing where in our lives we are not authentic or true to ourselves, we distract ourselves with blaming, craving or controlling.

The hardest part with trying to overcome subconscious patterns is that they are mostly hidden to us. They only show in our internal 'to go places'. Therfore, emotional and mental coping patterns are often so blindspotted that we cannot even feel when something really isn't good for us. You know, when you are so blind to the most obvious dysfunctional or outright destructive behavior - within yourselvf or in others around us - and you are not able to see this until after?! How could we ever change anything in the present if we cannot see this?

And so it comes that all we feel is a convulted inner fragmentation or disconnect. We don't see how we are actually avoiding or numbing ourselves from facing and chaning our own limitations. Instead we project everything onto others, blame or simply react without us being able to stop it.

How can we become more authentic and strengthen our inner connection, so that we can better feel what is true to us and what isn't? How can reconcile our inner contradictions and become more spiritually and emotionally mature?

Becoming Aware of Different Versions of Self

First we need to understand that what we are experiencing as Self with our mind is not really all there is to who we truly are. There is our unconscious or Proto Self, our Ego Self that we perceive through the thinkingness of with our mind, and our True Self that is capable of observing both our Proto- and Ego Self whereas the latter two can't observe our True Self. In Energy Work these terms are viewed from a slightly different perspective on SELF than classical Psychology, the idea is the same:

Proto Self is a part of us that is not in our conscious control (Sympathetic or Autonomous Nervous System) it is stimulated by our own memory and collective programming. 

Ego Self is the part of us that thinks it is in control through thinking and emoting (Frontal Lobe processing, Left Hemisphere, Ego Perception).

True Self is the part in us that receives information or promptings from outside of our mind's cognition and programming (Intuition, Third Eye Perception, Right Hemisphere.) 

The reason why it is recommendable to connect with one's inner guidance and intuition is because our brain/mind/nervous system works mostly based on linear signal processing and thus the perceivable range of signals through our Proto Self and Ego Self is limited, if not distorted sometimes; all the while our True Self is able to process non-linear and holographic information and can therefore work with a much wider bandwidth of transceiving information.

Discerning Emotions & Hard-Wired Coping Mechanisms

When it comes to observing and reflecting our emotional patterns we need to realize that most of what we perceive as emotions are indeed physical reactions. Emotions are tied to our nervous system and are often perceived through strong inner physical/somatic reactions - these reactions are based on neurological pathways formed throughout our lives - through our emotional, physical and mental experiences, traumas, etc., but also based on our genetic inheritance (see Epigenetics). 

The same counts for our coping mechanisms. These are directly linked to our past and therefore programmed with a certain set of reactions that ensured our survival (ego). Hence, what most of us perceive as emotions are in fact energetic hard-wires and coping mechanisms based on our or our ancestor's past.

Our True Feelings are not bound to our ego nor our body or mind. They come through an overall sense of well-being, inner congruence and deep inner peace and knowing that we are going into the right direction. Feelings prompted by our True Self are based on non-linear and subjective information and can therefore often not be explained or objectively felt.

The difficulty of discerning inner feelings from emotions can only be resolved if we can learn how to trust in our inner heart's voice.   

For this we need to set the clear intention listen to our heart and to allow our True Self to become the navigator for our inner corrections.

Through our inner heart connection we can begin to see unhealthy patterns and implement disciplines that allow us to observe the difference. If we choose to stay unaware of our hard-wired emotional coping mechanisms they will continue to dominate our responses! 

In our process of self-healing these unhealthy patterns it is very important that we refrain from beating ourselves up for discovering destructive or sabotaging coping patterns, especially if they are linked to addictive behaviors!

Exploring our Coping Mechanisms

We all have coping mechanisms. We either go into attack, run away or internally withdraw - and will use whatever works for us to accomplish that!

This is part of our prototypal human neurological make up. As soon as our energy system detects anything that could potentially be a threat or trigger unwanted/uncomfortable sensations, thoughts or emotions our ego (which is tied to our body) sends an ‘emergency signal’ to our nervous system, which in return activates our autonomous somatic responses through neurotransmitter emission in the animalistic part of our brain (look up ‘Amygdala’) . Depending on our predisposition and where we have the most unresolved energetic charges it will activate our personal way of ‘reacting’ to a potential challenge – Fight-Flight-or Freeze.


However, this is just the surface. When going deeper into our energy system we will begin to notice that these reactions are not necessarily how we truly want to react – in fact, one of the most typical characteristics of ‘reactions’ is the fact that they can overwrite our better knowing or intentions and thus nullify our True Self promptings. Therefore, paying attention and discerning our inner energies allows us to first understand some of our unconscious mechanisms and then to change them – which in return helps to emotionally mature.

In 'The Art of Responding vs. Reacting' I wrote:

"In a reactive state we experience life as a constant challenge or struggle and regard ourselves as either prey or predator – victim or perpetrator. Typically, the more struggle a person subjectively experiences the more complex the stored defensive or aggressive mechanisms. Avoiding, escaping and fighting are just a few examples of this old way of programmed reactivity. 

With this attitude towards our inner and outer world, our outlook on life and people around us can become hostile and the vibratory level of our coping skills is therefore comparably weak or even non-existent; but worst of all, this inner alignment typically further perpetuates low vibratory states, triggers, and reactionary patterns to a point where dissonances keep manifesting in an endless cycle of repeating inner and outer drama. As s result of this constant flight-or-fight perception many energetically sensitive people live in a constant state of anxiety, excessive mental looping and controlling as coping mechanism for attempted damage reduction."

(to read the full article click here)

Mental, Emotional & Spiritual Intelligence

Only very few people have decoded the art of a healthy and happy life as expression of an holistic energetic balance between mental, emotional and spiritual wholeness.

Mental Intelligence (mind/intellect) is a cool thing to have, as it can help us to understand things better, but seldom a guaranty for happiness in life. When dealing with the everyday aspects of our overall well-being and outlook on life it mainly comes down to how well we can respond to setbacks, challenges, and our ability to express ourselves. 

Emotional Intelligence, which is not the same as Emotional Maturity, allows us resolve the deeper causes of unhappiness, such as relationship and communicational issues, but it can seldom address trauma, abandonment, abuse, addiction, intimacy and attachment issues. Those are typically hidden underneath several layers of ego-personality and require the active involvement of our True Self Consciousness (True Inner Voice) to be healed.

While it is recommendable to learn how to communicate our unresolved aspects through through therapy, group work or counseling for example, a deeper healing can often only accomplished through adding the spiritual component that helps to connect us deep within.

Emotional Maturity and Spiritual Intelligence are linked. A spiritual connection is proven to be a key element for inner peace, happiness and healing. 

The pathway to Emotional Maturity is through allowing our Emotional Intelligence to merge with Spiritual Intelligence located in our Heart, which is based on our level of consciousness, awareness and inner connection - and thus allows us bypass our Ego! 

How Our Heart's Intelligence Helps to Shift our Perception

Caught in this unconscious wheel of emotional stress and coping we can easily feel lost. Our ego does not have the tools to change this! Therefore, in order to change this inner conflict a shift in our perception has to take place first. We need to begin to observe the ego and its hard-wired reactions so that we can begin to transcend those behaviors that are no longer appropriate for us!


Transcending the ego means to dissolve its power over us. Eliminating it is not possible. It is an integral part of us. Therefore, the Transcendence of Ego has to happen through accepting that it is there, but releasing our old perceptions that allow it to dominate us.

(Read more about Transcending the Ego here)



The missing link to changing our existing patterns is connecting with our heart's intelligence. It changes our perspective and with it our perception. Our inner connection can help us to reconnect with our inner stillness and begin to rebuild our natural ability to perceive inner peace through our a functioning True Self Connection.

(Read ore about True Self here

Surrender, Humility and Acceptance are the keys for connecting with our inner Divine Consciousness and inviting the main healing resonances needed for implementing EMOTIONAL & SPIRITUAL FREEDOM in our lives. Through surrender we can turn over our inner conflicts to our Higher Inner Power that provides with more energy, more options, and perspectives beyond the ego...

(read more about Self-Healing here)

Emotional Maturity means to include ALL of the above components of our Self and Inner Intelligence to come together. It allows us see through our numbing, avoiding or attacking reactions, and to develop new - healthier ways of responding - even if we cannot see the solution yet!

Thank you for your time reading this.

Much Love,

jona bryndis

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