Facing the Ego and all its Addictive Qualities is about Facing Pain
By jona bryndis, Nov 1 2017 05:15AM
All of us, at one point or another, had a few issues that arose that we didn’t feel capable of handling, and in this, we found a creative way to not face or deal with that issue. This is usually referred to a coping or defensive mechanism that originally is created to protect us from the initial issues or trauma.
There are all kinds of fancy names for these mechanisms, but they typically revolve around distraction, dodging, hiding, or even simply avoiding. And, if we feel into these mechanisms just a bit, we can quickly see that they are focused solely on temporary relief or pleasure in the hopes of not facing the initial issue or trauma.
With time, these patterns become quite strong and develop into parts of us that we may even identify as ourselves, leading to the development of a facade or false self that acts a persona and hides the truer side of us underneath.
Some of these mechanisms do not bother us at all and we may even be partially or fully unaware of them. Other ones though, can really limit our ability to be honest or true to ourselves. Most are habit forming and some are even strengthened via outside sources of distraction such alcohol, drugs, exercise, work, electronics, sex, and so on.
In these repetitive programs, addictive structure rears it head as now our system is fully into ‘the coping and not facing’ routine, which has a unique emotional and mental pattern to it that begins really weigh down and even destroy our lives as now we are in the spins of these coping mechanisms and their attempt to keep us away from the pain so long ago.
Our coping structures are the realm of the ego and regardless if it is in the form of a full blown addictive alcoholic cycle, or just intense fear in your system where you keep dodging and distracting yourself from facing that fear…they are one in the same, the former is just usually a bit more destructive.
As we begin to see either by our own realizations or our life beginning to falter a bit, we try to seek out ways to change, which at first usually stay within the realm of the mind.
Now, if we look at modern society for answers, we see a culture where these defensive mechanisms are actually promoted and learning to sit with ourselves to feel out our issues is not so much shunned, but definitely not the norm or usually taught.
Then we may try suppressing these cycles or even stating that we can handle them. Which usually leads to a temporary set back in expression of them…but most of us cannot handle the fears and the pain of the original trauma as it comes, which it will without the distractions or coping games.
At this point we can feel lost or run by our patterns and defenses, and in truth we are, as without being able to face what is underneath them and sit with that, they will not likely loosen their grip.
However, the challenge of facing the ‘stuff underneath’ is usually to great at first as we have too many rigid views, emotions and fears around doing so, but if we were able to find a way to face those aspects and deal with the underneath stuff, then the pain will likely subside or even fully dissipate and we may even be able to release the patterns themselves with a bit of work.
What is it that aids us facing our pain and past trauma? The simple answer is through aligign to the energetic states of love and compassion. These two energies allow us to face our pain, to sit with it and not be fully pulled in by it, which then brings the chance to let things go and even find new ways to replace the old.
The classic literature on this would call this learning to surrender to the heart or dropping the insanity of the mind, which is accurate. But maybe a more modern view would be to seeing it as shifting how our system operates.
We all have access to our ego, mind and emotions and we also have access to our hearts. They are both in our system, and always have been; however, our ego has dominated the game for most part. If we can learn to access our heart and begin there before facing the pain underneath our coping strategies, then we greatly increase our chances on letting these patterns go as in the space our heart and compassion we can begin to forgive ourselves and others so that we become free of the pain.
In essence, by facing the pain and accepting it, we learn to let it go and no longer be affected by it.
And, we can learn to find people, programs, techniques and even groups that are aligned to this as well and see how this has changed their lives, we might just begin to believe that ours could also change.
Our ego is really an addiction system that is based on getting and obtaining while avoiding anything that may hurt us or show it that it is not in control, and all we have to do to begin to break it down is reverse the program that started it.
We sit with and face the pain and fear that will lead us back to the original pains and traumas to see what it is we were beforehand and add this back into our lives through love and acceptance, which gives us tremendous strength and a new path of change.
Find ways that can help you connect within to your own heart and to a spiritual path. Try things until you feel it. Share with friends, find groups that are focused on this, and make your intention to be connected and loving. As you feel this connection grow in you then ask your pain to come forward and you will be amazed at what will occur.
Energy Coach & Founder of Selfunification
If you are looking for a very effective way to enhance your connection and ability to face these patterns in you consider the Grace Recovery Marathon that starts this Thursday. This delves right into what is described above and creates a loving space where we can confront, accept and even love these patterns that have burdened us for long time. Click here to learn more or sign up!
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