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Are You True To Yourself? - How To Tell The Difference Between True & False Self

By jona bryndis, Oct 1 2019 03:04PM

On Being True to Oneself and Identifying When We Are Not

In our daily lives, we often feel empty, lonely or not able to connect with our Self. Many of us have lost the ability to tell if we are truly connected within - our inner connection feels clouded or lost. Feeling this way sometimes is normal, but if we find ourselves becoming more and more robotic or numb, unable to feel ourselves we are running into danger of losing our sense of self. Our sense of self determines our ability to inhabit our own energy body; it enables us to know and enact our boundaries; to have a positive self-image; to feel we belong and of course, to know who we truly are. It can keep us grounded in times of uncertainty, allows us to uncover when we lie to ourselves, motivates us to have the courage to grow and express ourselves, and it provides us with our values, integrity, and goals.

Our True Self is an integral part of us - the middleman between your soul and your physical being. When we feel disconnected within it shows us that we are off-center, that we distracted by too many different versions of perceived ‘other-selves’ - the way we should be, or how others see us. If we see ourselves primarily from an external viewpoint we have allowed our False Self to dominate our life and perception of self.

If you see yourself through the eyes of others, your ability to feel and love yourself becomes clouded!

We all have different reasons to rather present a fake persona than our True Self; it is often part of our core protection mechanisms, as our True Self feels too vulnerable to be exposed. It is based on the misconception that we need to hide who we truly are - and because everybody is doing it, it seems natural to feel like we need to protect this part of us.

From an energetic point of view, this is quite a tragedy! By choosing our False Self we are not only communicating that we don't feel good enough, we are also increasing inner conflicts and agree to incongruence, that can do severe damage to our ENERGETIC INTEGRITY. The original cause is often unconscious to us, as they often lead back to our childhood or even karmic aspects.

Regardless of how much you try to hide it, your True Self will always prevail. It is only a matter of time until you will sense that there is something unexpressed inside of you, that wants to come forward. Living your life as a False Self can therefore often lead to the feeling of being ‘cut off from the world’. It can cause a deep inner pain of separation and not belonging - and can thus be responsible for many of our inner and outer struggles!

Being caught in our often unconscious false self projections makes it impossible for us to be in touch with our true needs, and therefore often causes fear of the unknown and powerlessness.

While our False Self-ego persona allows us to cope with challenging situations or painful experiences, it is, however, responsible for the majority of our mental and emotional overcast that clouds our ability to know and connect with our True Self.

Why is it so difficult to know True from False Self ?


Many of you have already worked on your inner connection and relationship with your True Selves, but you often still don’t realize the power of ego control in your practical lives. The fact that you are reading this right now already demonstrates that a part of you remembers the presence of your True Self within; you wouldn’t resonate with this kind of inner work if you weren’t somehow prompted to seek for your true inner connection. But do you really know when you are true to yourself and when not? When you are in alignment with your True Self or your False Self? When you are true to yourself?

Our ego can overshadow our INNER TRUTH within a split second. Every time you feel threatened, not validated or unloved, your ego will kick in in order to protect you from mental-emotional-spiritual pain! The way this happens is mainly through altering your perception. This can play out as diminished or exaggerated self-perception - as self-doubt or self-centeredness - but no matter what your personal propensity is, it limits your ability to see your own truth!

From an energy work standpoint, incongruence with True Self causes inner contradictions and therefore allows outer programs, fear, defense patterns, ego-attachments or denial to dominate your way of seeing yourself and others. In the long run, this inner battle can lead to energetic schisms and persistent inner conflicts and can cause emotional, mental, physical blocks or even dis-eases. Therefore, energy work teaches us that becoming congruent with our True Self is not only a core prerequisite for our self-healing, but also represents the needed framework for the unfoldment of our spiritual consciousness!


As we begin the inner re-connection process, it is quite normal to feel an inner yearning for becoming more true to oneself. This can get more intense after we felt this connection with our INNER LIGHT for the first time, which is why it is so important to develop a REFERENCE FEELING for when we are in our True Self - even we can only get glimpses of what it feels like at first. As we begin to feel and experience the existence of our Inner Divinity as our True Selves, we begin to long for this connection and our SPIRITUAL JOURNEY begins.

The objective of becoming true to oneself is to learn how to experience and express ourselves congruent with our True Self at all times. Self-transformation means to learn to overcome our mental and emotional overlay and to align ourselves to the frequencies of our higher self so that we can begin to unfold our highest potential.

We all have this ability to connect in us at all times, but the reason why we don't is because we lost the ability to tell if something is true or not. In addition, most of us don’t have the ability yet to consciously perceive and clear ourselves from distractions, triggers and ego-payoff, and are therefore often at a loss when it comes to identifying negative energies, inner energetic blocks or simply we our energy system is imbalanced and incongruent.



Energetically seen, we are congruent when the frequency of our outer expression resembles or is identical with our inner frequency - when our INNER REALITY matches up with our outer reality. When we are grounded in the present and centered in our heart our energy resonates only with conditions, circumstances, thoughts, feelings (any energy form) that matches own frequency. CONGRUENCE is when all outer energies and inner energies are a reflection of the same - when we are congruent we are in the presence of our INNER TRUTH.


Take the energy of DEGRADATION (could be replaced with any lower vibrational state or sentiment). In energy work Degrading Energies are energies that are not supportive, energy-draining or even destructive for us.

If we are surrounded by degrading energies while our inner alignment is based on higher vibrational virtues, such as integrity, respect, and non-judgment, any form of degradation or energy lowering impulse can be sensed immediately. Without training, we may not be able to pinpoint where or from whom exactly these energies are coming from, but we can feel when that it's 'off'. Someone who is caught in the incongruence of his or her False Self is so conflicted within, that outer incongruence cannot be detected. In fact, energetically degrading people, situations or places are so familiar to us that we lack the ability to tell the difference!

As a result of being congruent with our True Self we are able to tell what is truly going on and with it have the ability you make a choice whether we want to tolerate, ward off or walk out of the degradation in/around us.

If we are congruent, our choices are always in alignment with who we truly are.

So, if we allow ourselves to constantly be surrounded by degradation we cannot sense it, and chances are that unconsciously allow our energetic integrity to be violated, compromised or inhibited. By tolerating degrading energies in our lives we ENABLE FALSEHOOD - in our environment (family, collective, society, etc.) and within ourselves. Over time, tolerating falsehood and energy lowering forces in our lives it becomes so ‘normal’ to us that our entire energy system adjusts to falsehoods to a point, where we do not even realize how incongruent we have become. CODEPENDENCY and WHITE-SHADOW aspects are very common examples of the longterm effect of lack of inner congruence.

We are incongruent when our inner alignment/sentiment is not the same as our actions, thoughts, feelings, and choices - and vice versa.

Deep down we all know what it feels like to be incongruent – it’s when we agree to compromise or the lower our personal, despite our better knowing! Every time we disregard our inner guidance we are allowing a part of us to dissociate and become numb. Every time we act, think, feel or express something that isn't true to ourselves, we disconnect from our True Self and we give away/lose a tiny aspect of our soul - bit by bit, we are externalizing our inner power to our False Self!

The False Self forms through the lies and stories you have been telling yourself forgetting that it was a lie.

Becoming aware of truth and falsehood marks a major shift in our journey!


Once we shift our focus from outside to inside we are beginning to become able to discern between what's ours and what isn't. Incoming, lingering or hidden energies can only be sensed on all levels provided we know who we are. Therefore, knowing our true intentions is not only healthier but allows us to protect our energy from a more empowered stance and thus eliminates the need for a fake self-projection or protection. The more we can let go of our false sense of control, the easier we can get in touch with our true needs and heart’s desires.

ENERGETIC SENSITIVITY alone does not guarantee that we can make better choices. We still need to learn how to actualize and manifest our energetic discernment in congruence with our energy and actions/choices - in other words, we need to learn how to implement our inner truth at all times. This is where our real spiritual work begins!

So, while we may intuitively and mentally understand the importance of FEELING TRUTH, we need to retrain our behaviors and relearn to HOW TO ACT ON OUR TRUTH. This is the point of our journey where many of us become frustrated and begin to doubt our abilities...

Understand that acting on your truth is probably the most daring and challenging journey you will ever embark on! Give yourself time and be patient with yourself. Your behaviors are the result of decades of conditioning and outer programming - do not expect to be able to undo this within a few days! Try to observe rather than judge - and always remember that weren't able to see these things before, so be patient and never give up on your True Self!

The more honest you can be to yourself the faster and easier you can be a True Self!


What could we get out of our False Self behaviors?

What are common examples for ego payoff?

Let’s look at some our False Self programs and what your ego gets out of it:

Being a Victim or Blaming Others -> not having to/wanting to take responsibility for oneself

Pain Cycles -> wanting to get attention to feed the illusion of being loved or not alone

Control -> feeling more powerful over others/situations in order to cope with our hidden fears and anger

Anger -> trying to regain lost power or compensating for the fear of not being in control

Righteousness -> feeding our illusion of superiority or being better than others to cover up negative self-image and fear of inadequacy

Frustration -> coping with inner contradictions; projecting the illusion of lost specialness or rigid beliefs and opinions

So, after all this talk and inner reflection, why do we still allow negative energies to affect our personal energy field to the point where we aren’t able to feel ourselves anymore? Why do we continue to make incongruent choices every day of our life? Easy! Because our ego/false self get's something out of it!

As long as our ego receives positive feedback on acting out of fear, anger, pain or specialness – it gets a pay-off and has no reason to end it. Behaviors and choices that work against your better knowing are are actions based on your ego. If you want to transcend your ATTACHMENTS and unconscious sabotage cycles you need to know what your ego gets out of staying where you are at.

Looking at our ego's payoff and facing inner unresolved energetic attachments isn’t exactly fun, so be prepared to run into your ego's resistance! Most of your choices are based on what worked in the past or what created the most pleasure, safety or sense of control. Therefore, in order to overcome your ego you need to gradually remove the fuel it runs on. By asking ourselves what our ego's payoff is, we can learn how our inner hard-wires function and slowly replace them with healthier behaviors.

If we are truly honest with ourselves, we will find that there is an ego payoff feeding our False Self in almost each and every one of our choices. If we were congruent with who we truly are we had no reason to hide, deny or protect these parts. We could lightheartedly, self-responsibly and lovingly admit to our mistakes and transcend, correct and improve our choices as we go; but instead, we sustain an intricate web of ego justifications and don’t realize how our False Self is separating us from our True Self with each of these choices.

Our Ego, False Self, projections, wounds, shadow, patterns, programs and defensive mechanisms are all integral parts of us – they are neither good nor bad – they are all there for a reason. What matters is not the fact that we have an ego, false self or shadow, but whether and for how much longer we allow them to control our choices.


Don’t let your day-to-day distractions, challenges, responsibilities and compromises overwrite who you are! Take at least 5 minutes every day to touch base with your True Self and use the 5-Minute True Self Alignment MP3 and come to monthly FREE 'Connect With Your True Self' Remote Energy transMISSION to reboot your inner connection! Click here to register for thei FREE Energy Session.

Thank you for your time reading this reflection.

Much Love,


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